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They’re here to stretch their wings, not to start nesting.Silvia acknowledges: “I know I get attracted to the wrong guys” – but then, as an expat and a Neuköllner, it’s hard for her to meet anyone else. They’re attractive, but in the long run, they’re not sustainable.” She says she had to drop out of a two-year relationship that got her frustrated time and time again.“The day I really want a relationship, I move away from Berlin.” outnumbering men by 7900.Altogether, there are nearly 60,000 more women in this city than men, and in the crucial 25-40 age bracket within which most women start thinking about settling down, men are outnumbered by at least 4600. ” She is now in a relationship with a man who split up with his wife but hasn’t divorced yet.All in all, one of the last people you’d expect to have trouble finding a steady date. Three consecutive years...” She’s in a relationship at the moment, but calls it “confusing”. I remember being on date with a nice Swiss guy and then just as he started to kiss me, I stopped and asked: ‘Do you have someone? They’re always occupied, and when they’re not – they’re full of shit. ” It’s no secret that finding love in a big city isn’t easy, especially if you’re a woman who’s looking to settle down. Especially if you’re a female, even remotely attractive. “I’ve been here for three years – three years single!
It might involve going for a three-month trip to South America – and you’re not invited.
Living with someone ends up being more of a liability – an infringement on your great, free lifestyle.” Jeremy, 41, is a good-looking American with an academic background and an attractive social life – the type that doesn’t leave girls indifferent. As men grow picky, Berlin’s independent, career-oriented thirtysomethings lose their patience, refusing to waste time with losers who think they’re ‘the one’, but aren’t sure.
Yet, surprisingly, Jeremy has never had a proper relationship. “I’m so busy all the time these days,” says Inge, 32, an office administrator fresh from a go-nowhere fling with a co-worker.
“Relationships are more about friends here,” she concludes. And NOT settling down with a woman makes them feel freer, younger or something...” Alice knows something about that: “I was in a six-month relationship with a German man in his forties. ” exclaims Silvia, who says she’s got a problem with all those ‘big boys’ still into playing with drugs, as if that were a girl’s biggest turn-on.
“Maybe in a smaller city, it makes sense to be in a relationship – there’s nothing to do, so you stay home and watch TV together,” says Maria, 27, from Italy, who extricated herself from an entanglement with a man with a girlfriend only to wind up with one who “just got out of a relationship” and didn’t want to get serious. One day he told me he was leaving because he felt he was still young and still had so much more to experience.” Silvia herself has had no shortage of experiences with Peter Pan types. I liked the way he wrote; he sounded humorous and intelligent. “It’s hard to spend one evening with a cool guy without him mentioning drugs off some sorts.” Going out with a 30-year-old feels too ‘grown-up’ for these men.